Archive for the ‘Kiddies’ Category

Wow…

Standing on a cold and frosty, Stanley Park sidewalk, waiting for someone to yell out ‘GO’, surrounded by a sea of people, with weeks of training behind me and all I could think about were of the tight bums in front me…

To be honest, it was hard to keep from pinching one…

And then someone yelled ‘GO”! – bastards!

5km later, I was a hero.

Ok fine, it wasn’t like I cured cancer, but its close.

Remember, i had to log weeks of hard work of not only actual running, but i had to coordinate a cute outfit, and create the perfect iTunes playlist – these were all factors in the culmination of a successful run.

There were moments along the way when i wondered, ‘am i there yet…?, “or “OMG i want to die, this has to be way longer than 5KM!”, but Benny Benassi kept pushing me…

There were other moments when i realized i was looking way too cute to quit – it would have been obvious. Perhaps if i was in green i could have more easily blended into the foliage.

So by creating the perfect running trifecta – training, clothing and playlist – there was no way i couldn’t do it.

Perhaps, i should try applying this to more menial things…like doing laundry?…

no.

A lot of runners talk about a runners high. That euphoric state that happens only after running which is what keeps them inspired to continue in these types of events.

I too experienced a high after the run, it was while sitting in Starbucks, with a hot venti non-fat hazelnut latte,

it was exhaustion…

But I am not finished yet!

I decided I wasn’t going to lay around the house (because that’s what you do with two kids, you just sit and lay about, somewhere in between the screaming and destroying…) after weeks of running for no reason, so I committed to two more events, the 5 km Resolution Run and the Historic Half Marathon in Fort Langley (of which I am doing the 5km)

Perhaps this summer I will attempt a 10km… but let’s not get a head of ourselves… yet.

Note to self
Because I can’t see my own bum, I expect its tight as well, I am a runner you know…

PS
You get a jacket when you sign up for the Resolution Run! That’s way nicer than a t-shirt!

PPS
The Santa Shuffle was actually 5.8KM… but whose counting?

I have never been one to dream about a Mexican vacation, in fact, I doubt it would be on my top 30 countries to visit list.

I’m sorry Mexico.

It’s not your fault… Okay, technically it is.

But also consider, I am not a lay out on the beach type
person either and I found it a struggle to keep busy in Maui.

Speaking of Maui…

Driving 4 hrs on the sickening road to Hana to watch trickles fall from rocks, really shouldn’t be considered a water fall spectacular… just saying…

Moving on.

Here is a positive… I like Tequila.

I also like starches and cream sauces…

CHICKEN TEQUILA FETTUCCINI

Fettuccine pasta

2/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro

4 tbsp minced garlic

4 tbsp minced jalapeno peppers

6 tbsp butter

1 cup chicken stock

6 tbsp tequila

4 tbsp fresh lime juice

6 tbsp soy sauce

6 boneless chicken breasts sliced

3 tbsp Olive oil

1/2 red onion sliced

1 red pepper sliced

1 yellow pepper sliced

1 orange pepper sliced

3 cups of whipping cream

Marinade the chicken in 6 tbsp of soy sauce, set aside

Saute cilantro, jalapeno and garlic in 4TBSP of butter about 5 mins

Add stock, tequila and lime juice, bring to a boil and cook down ALL the liquid until a paste like consistency – it will get there – I promise! Set a side in a small bowl.

Cook fettuccine until done in salted boiling water

Fry chicken in frying pan with a olive oil

In a large pot heat remaining 2 tbsp of butter and fry onion and peppers until soft.

Add tequila stock mixture to peppers and onions, add chicken and cream, slowly increase the heat – do not boil.

Toss with fettuccine and garnish with cilantro.

*Note to Self
…and cookies

To put it blunt, Miss Olivia, has been difficult.

Perhaps it’s a terrible two thing – she’s almost three so THAT shouldn’t be it. She’s too young for all the awful three year old issues I hear so much about…right? So what could be the source of that little bee that has been wedge up her butt lately?

I think its SCHOOL. Yes, I said it, school. All summer long we have been planning and waiting for school. Those two sweet hours twice a week that would give me a few minutes of freedom and her, a chance to play and burn off some energy. Who would have thought, the thing i waited so patiently for, planned for days everything i could with 120 minutes a free time, thought about the lattes i could enjoy in peace and quiet… could become the bane of my existence.

Day 1 – she brought home a cold. WTF. I worked very hard the past two and half years, making sure we NEVER caught colds. I send her out into the world one day and some other little snot probably oozed on her.

Awesome.

It’s because of all those overprotective, paranoid, bath your kids in Purell type mothers. Their kids are immune to NOTHING and they spread EVERYTHING – a little germ never hurt anyone. It’s good for you.

Not that I am suggesting we should all start licking mold for Aspirin… would that be cheaper?

By day 2 we had problems… Olivia, until her sister  Audrey was born was numero uno around here. The transition from only child to big sister has actually been very smooth. Only lately have we had the odd issue as ‘Babies’ is starting to getting older and mobile.  She’ll grab a toy Olivia suddenly wanted and it’s the end of the world.

And with Olivia, when I say I end of the world I mean…

END.

OF.

THE.

WORLD.

I’ve got one of those make Everest out of a mole hill type kids… And I’m starting to think school is stressing her out, with all their “sharing” and “team work.”

Isn’t that what The Wonder Pets are for? Didn’t I put in enough hours watching that crap, singing “whats going to work TEAM work” before she went off to school?

I can’t get that time back people. It’s gone. Like that two hours I spent watching Battlefield Earth on the Space Network at 2am… nothing was on… I was curious… it really was THAT bad.

The teacher asked to speak to me at the end of day 3.

I guess Olivia, has been having a hard time. She’s coloring on other peoples papers, and hugging. I guess not every other kid wants a free hug, or appreciates her artistry.

The teacher and I both agreed that this should eventually work itself out. She IS one of the youngest ones in the class, and its pretty normal… I actually had that conversation.

Out of all the drama and shit I deal with on a regular basis, I am getting a 10 minute lecture about coloring. I now believe Olivia is overcompensating for her weekly four hours of mandatory sharing. As a result, she is refusing to do it at home.

Last nights conversation over Pajamas

Said sweetly “Come on Olivia, time for jamies”

“No”

“Yes, we have to wear clothes after the bath”

“NO”

“Come on, jamies, then story”

Whinnnning “I don’t want a story, I want jamies like Babies”

“I don’t have pajamas like Babies, you’re a big girl, you wear big girl jamies”

“IWANT JAMIES LIKE BABIES, I WANT JAMIES WITH FLOWERS”

Fuck. I don’t have any with flowers – how could I have been so stupid to change the baby first. (Digging through the drawer) No flowers, no flowers, no flowers – HEY! – Pants with flowers, awesome.

“Look Olivia jamies WITH flowers! Like Babies”

“ IIII Don’t want those onessss”

“But look, they have flowers on them”

“I don’t likkkkke those onesssss”

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG “Okay, what about the Dora ones?”

“Noooo, I don’t wannnnnnnna wear jamies”

“Olivia, pajamas now.”

“Nooooo” Followed by an incomprehensible slurring of words, crying, and wild jumping.

“Olivia! I. Am. Serious.”

Screaming “I don’t want Dora jamies, I don’t like Jamies”

This is the point when you start to rationalize with yourself  which is more important:  screaming or quiet.

If she wins by not having to wear pajamas, ending the tantrum and my migrane, will that scar her development…just this once. Or do I hold firm, stay strong and force her into pajamas, driving her further into hysterics… Obviously Supper Nanny would tell me to stand my ground… but Supper Nanny isn’t here. And I cant afford a nanny. If I could SHE would be dealing with this… But I am SO tired of the screaming… but then she knows she’s winning and will start screaming for everything… Hold firm, Hold firm…but the screaming, it’s….wearing…me…down…

“Look mom, I got my pants on!”

“Wow, Olivia that’s great, what a big girl”…

WTF?

*Note to self

If only my husband was so cooperative

Sometimes a serious game of ‘Hungry, Hungry, Hippo’s’ can release the stress and tension of a hard days work… I just wish I got to be the pink hippo.

Potty training, like ‘‘Hungry, Hungry, Hippo’s’, can have its ups and downs. One day, peeing on the potty takes no more effort than reminding the little one to go. Today, four pairs of new panties later, you realize it does take some persistence. No hippo can be expected to catch every little ball, but by no means does he actually stop trying. Meaning, as much as I want to, I can’t go back to the diaper…

I hate to admit it, but I like diapers. I like the freedom of diapers.  I like leaving my house, going for a drive and not having to worry about finding a bathroom 2 minutes  down the road – especially after I asked “does ANYONE need to pee before we go?!? I’m not a fan of the grey area between a fully potty trained child and the diaper baby. Hippos don’t have a grey area, they either eat the ball or they miss it. Also, Hippos don’t wear diapers… that would be weird.

Note to self

*Be happy you’re not changing Hippo diapers… 

 

Also, speaking of hippo’s, while typing this post the little baby missed my boob and started sucking on my belly… nothing says sexy like a baby belly hickey…