Oh, Did I mention, I am a runner?

I am not here to gloat the fact that I burnt 300 calories this morning. Or suggest that I should be in a Nike commercial somewhere, but I should.

Yes, I have gone running a total of 4 times. This means I only have 23 more runs until I am a 5k pro and 14 more days until the Santa Shuffle, by which point, I should be able to run for 25 minutes consecutively.

The last time I did something for a consecutive 25 minutes I was shooting a 9lb 10oz baby out my lady parts. (Or as my mother would say, my “ya ya”.)

Ironically, both are painfully similar in feeling.

I hate to admit it, but I think I am starting to enjoy running. Blasphemy I know. But something has to be said about for accomplishing one thing in a day, when everything else seems endless.

Take laundry for example.

By the time you get 10 loads finished, folded and put away, you have 8 more loads to do. I attempted hanging out naked all day, saving myself hours of laundry, but it started to confuse the dog.

Speaking of the dog…

Seamus.

Oh, sweet, special Seamus. If ever there was an animal that could aggravate me to no end it would be Seamus, and yet, somehow I love the fuzzy bastard…

Today, i decided to include Seamus in on my run. My nice brain thought, “boy wouldn’t that be great, him and I alone on the road. Run/walking and sharing a moment of harmony…”

Clearly my nice brain isn’t the rational brain.

I spent the following half an hour, either being dragged down the street during my “walk” segments or screaming “Whoa, Seamus, whoa – Seamus you asshole, WHOA” during my “run” segments.

We have some kinks to work out, mainly the Seamus factor.

The Seamus factor means when all normal dogs do A, Seamus invariably does Q.

To date, he owes me ten pairs of underwear, four pairs of shoes and so far today… a rattle and something pink. I’m not sure what it is yet. I’ll let you know in an hour…

Whether Seamus continues to run with me is up in the air. Listening to him snore right now under my feet, like nothing ever happened, is a little irritating, especially while I am sore and sweaty.

I think a certain kind of rhythm needs to happen between us; perhaps we should go away on a bonding retreat and reconnect over a Costa Rican Adventure…

*Note to Self
I don’t trust Seamus enough to catch me during a trust activity…

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